Manhattan Me

I try to spend as little time as possible on the subway, but with winter fast approaching I have no choice but to throw down $27 to the MTA once a week and hop on. My favorite, and probably only good thing about the train is the fact that I get no cell service and for however many minutes, I can be completely alone (sometimes alone, sometimes lonely). Just me and the rest of the B train's morning commuters. Except the one time my phone rang, and I carried on a conversation in between two stations while people looked on in pure shock and envy. One passenger sauntered over to me, "My GOODNESS! WHAT service do you have?"

I went to an event the other night. Not just any event, but Tony Bennett's gala for the arts. Yes, the one and only. When I walked in, I couldn't help but think this was exactly the type of place designed to keep people like me out. Cipriani Wall Street. Red carpeted entry way. High ceilings, beautifully designed architecture. Ornate decorations. Money draped over every table, oozing out of every dish, glass and spoon. And there I was, wearing my $24.99 black lace cocktail dress. My mother told me to act like you belong and you will, so I did my best.

I took my mom out last weekend for a night on the town and I learned something very important. In quite literally, the center of all the swanky lounges, dimly lit wine and cigar bars, and sweaty clubs, there is a whole different world going on. A world where people from all over the country (maybe even the whole world, but I usually find them at the clubs and lounges) don their finest duds and walk blindly into the tourist trap that is Times Square and all it's attractions.

It's been 9 months since I posted last. That's enough time to have a baby! For all you know, that's what I could have been doing, laying around pregnant decorating a nursery. Ha, yea right! I've been doing something much more exciting. I've been being an ass. Yep, that's right, I am a bonafide assistant to an agent at a talent agency.

In 2009, I lost over 40 pounds. My intentions were to lose about 15, but when I was 13 pounds down and no one even noticed, I decided to keep going. My motivation was of course, the dream. I want to work in the entertainment business, and in an industry filled with vanity, you have to play your part. Not only that, but I figured if I was feeling good about my appearance, I’d have the extra confidence I needed in interviews. Like I said, everything I do is to attain my goal of being a music executive.

I have a few more pounds left to lose and my mother was gracious enough to give me a year membership to my local Bally Total Fitness, just 7 short blocks from my apartment. After signing up, I was told I could have a complimentary session with a personal trainer. I was introduced to Lauren, and we set up a time I could come in and work out with her. I really wanted to decline the whole offer, but I can’t say no to free things. So I reluctantly walked to the gym yesterday for my 2pm session with Lauren. Much to my surprise, Lauren informed me that my session would be run by Jerome with 3 new trainers standing by to watch and learn how to run a one-on-one session with a client.

Did I mention Jerome was hot? Sizzling, really. His southern drawl and rock hard body had me drooling over him instantaneously. He explained how the session would be run as he chomped on his gum. Was that cinnamon I smelled? Yum. The kind my boyfriend chews. Oh yea…my boyfriend. I snapped out of it in enough time to run the suicides with medicine balls and to perform the walking lunges that almost killed me. This was only the warm up. I should add here that I haven’t worked out since July, and Jerome was making sure I was feeing the burn. I performed the tasks like a rodent on a hamster wheel as he gave the 3 new trainers tips and tricks and they stood there, arms crossed, staring at me. I half expected a group of men and women to come in donning lab coats and clipboards, taking notes on me as if I were some type of lab rat.

About 35 minutes into what I was sure was some form of a living hell, I started seeing spots. The green kind. Then I felt the room spinning and Jerome held up 2 fingers, asking me how many he was holding up. All I could think of was why his hands were all spotty and green tinted when I had thought he was so fine before. When the spots subsided, Jerome had me lay down on a table to stretch me, the 3 new trainers still standing there, still watching. On that table, Jerome got further with me than most men do after a month of dating. We held hands, he stretched my chest, and at one point, he had my legs up in the air, commenting on my flexibility.. Ah, him stretching my legs was a personal favorite of mine. Not. When prepping for this session, I briefly thought about shaving my stubbly legs, particularly after my boyfriend commented on my prickly stems. I decided not to, thinking that I would be working out with a female, and all females understand that sometimes, we just don’t feel like it. When Jerome wrapped his monstrous hand around my calf, I smiled sheepishly and said, “Sorry. My legs are stubbly.” He let me know he’d seen much worse. Was that supposed to make me feel better?

When it was finally over, I met with Lauren who told me that for just three easy payments of $314, Jerome could be mine 2 times a week for the next 2 months. I told her I’d keep that in mind and asked for someone to show me around the rest of the facility so that I could work out on my own next time. She asked one of the new trainers who had just witnessed my painful session with Jerome to show me around. I didn’t catch the girl’s name but she was, with all due respect, a giant. I’m 5’5” and I didn’t even come up to her shoulder. She was huge. After she showed me around, I thanked her and she put her hand out to shake mine. Clearly unaware of her own brute strength, she squeezed my hand so hard that I nearly keeled over. It was like one final kick in the ass as I was on my way out.

And, speaking of asses…my body is so sore today that I can barely feel mine.

Here’s my story. I’m 23 years and 7 days old. I’m from Connecticut originally but I’ve lived in New York on and off the past few years, and moved here permanently at the end of August 2009. I live alone in Manhattan and I came here for the same reason everyone else comes here--a dollar and a dream. My dream, like everyone else’s, sounds unattainable to all outsiders but I know in my heart it will happen and it will happen in this city. I can easily admit that every little thing I do is for that dream. My love for Manhattan is intermingled with my drive to succeed here. In my eyes, Manhattan is the gateway to my eternal happiness, because it is the place where goals are met and successes are made. So this is my story, a little at a time, as I build the foundation for what I hope will become just another New York fairy tale.