Manhattan Me

Upon our arrival to Sweet Caroline's Dueling Piano Bar, I surveyed the room and felt as if I were in some type of parallel universe to my usual go-to luxe lounge. In this Tourist World, people jump up and down singing the words to Bon Jovi at the top of their lungs as if no one is watching. And do you know why? Because no one is watching; they're all too busy throwing their own heads back, closing their eyes, and belting "Summer of '69" at the top of their lungs. For once, the object of the night was not to get dressed in clothing I cannot afford, spend hours artfully applying my makeup and delicately styling my hair, only to sit in a darkened club in a corner "people watching." So maybe the balding preppy guy from Michigan in a yellow striped shirt and khaki shorts jumping and fist pumping was not the epitome of cool, and the girl trying to climb on top of the piano probably would not have done that anywhere else, but it was fun.

All New Yorkers need to bite the bullet and go to the most tourist-y spot they can think of, for one night, and let loose. Because let's face it, there was a time when they too, were a tourist.

I will pause here for a moment of shouts, applause, and a celebratory toast.

In all actuality, it hasn't been too bad. Ok, well, the part where I work 50 hours a week has been a bit draining, but it would explain my recent disappearance though, wouldn't it? So, what does being an assistant actually entail, you ask? Think about the really important parts of an agent's job. Booking the show. Drafting the contract. Sending the paperwork. Making sure the deposit is paid. Repeating instructions/information to artist's manager about said show. Settling show after it plays. That's what I do.

Here are some other fun things. Booking a rental car for my boss for a show in Long Island after having this conversation:

Her: I need you to book a car for me for the Long Island show on Saturday.

Me: Ok, no problem.

Her: Oh, but I don't drive.

Me: Er???

Her: So you'll have to drive.

Me: Oh. Kay. ?? :::cancels Saturday plans:::

Call me old fashioned, but I don't use a GPS. So when I drive other people's rental cars, and the GPS tells me to bear left, the picture on the map doesn't really look like the road in front of me, so I don't bear left. Something I learned that day. Did you know that when you continually miss turns on Hertz's "Never Lost" navigating system, it's voice changes into a louder, more deep one; one that is really trying to get it's point across? No, really. Well, it does (read: did) to me.

What else, you ask? It's interesting when it's your job to go to shows, but it's actually more fun when you get to go to one where someone you don't work for is performing. For instance, a Roger Waters "The Wall Tour" dress rehearsal. Just a regular night, eating a soft pretzel and drinking a beer at the IZOD Arena, watching a rock legend perform tracks from what is probably the most commercially successful album of all time.

So there you have it, the good and the bad of being an assistant. You're all caught up to speed. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.