Manhattan Me

I looked around and took note of the men and women hanging on every word of whatever CEO was speaking. My first thought? Man, that lady's left shoe probably cost more than my entire paycheck. My second thought? Boy, I hope I don't do anything to embarrass myself. I tried on the lifestyle for a moment. You know the kind, you're married to a top executive at some finance firm who donated to Tony's charity, and you have to go to yet another benefit tonight, when all you really want to do is watch Real Housewives of NY because your best friend is going to be on tonight. You are bothered by the fact that you had to purchase a new dress from Bergdorf again because you can't risk seeing your husband's boss' wife in the same dress you wore last month. Life's tough, you know? "I might like to live this life," I thought to myself. I imagined myself calling friends who were not really my friends "dahhling," and sipping wine I cannot pronounce while prominently showcasing my huge diamond engagement ring I just landed last month from my financial executive boyfriend. Hey, there are worse things to be in life, and this is New York's high society after all, the cream of the crop! Oh, how I would love to be one of these ladies.

I was snapped back to the present when I heard a boom and a crash and saw one of these woman, flat on her back on the floor, missing her chair by just an inch. Back to my second thought and boy, was I glad that was not me! So what if my $12.99 black pumps don't even cost as much as one acrylic nail on her forefinger? At least my shoes don't fail me when I'm sitting down after giving the Tony Bennett a standing ovation. I got the feeling that not only was she mortified, but that her husband seemed just a bit angry because she embarrassed him. And so, I realized that life is not one cut out for me, because not only am I clumsy, but to waste my God given talent of finding a good bargain and wearing a cheap dress to a fancy arts gala and making it look like I (and my dress, of course) belonged would be just plain silly.

Ah, well, Mr. Bennett said it best, didn't he? The Best is Yet to Come...